Let me take a second to formally apologize to the homepages of my facebook friends.

I obviously have two different twitterfeed accounts posting to my twitter account. Problem is that I have no clue what the login is for the first one. Twitterfeed has made some upgrades that I want to use, I thought I was updating the original feed but I just posted my blog twice.

ARRRRRrgh!

I’ve deleted the feed I just made and if all is well, this blog post will only post itself once.

It makes sense that if you are having a family reunion you should all wear “Highlighter Green” shirts with your family’s name and year on it. This way while walking through the park, if you see someone you think you might be related to, you can instantly confirm bloodlines simply by looking at your brother’s shirt. Got it.

Another fashion-related anomaly I’ve only seen at CP is the flippant attitude people take when deciding what they should cover their torsos with. I understand that it gets rather warm at amusement parks and that sleeves are like mini heaters that create an almost unbearable sensation just above the elbow. The answer to this is obviously a Tank Top. I’m ok with this. Tank Tops are a recognized torso covering. They are “outerwear,” not “underwear.” As the name implies, underwear are meant to be worn under something. An undershirt is underwear. Be it a standard short-sleeved undershirt (breast pocket optional), one of those hipster v-necks, or the wife-beater, undershirts go under shirts.
Not at CP, nope. The undershirt has run amuk! Fat guys, skinny guys, young guys, old guys, even a few ladies (presumably) were sporting these things as if they were standard issue at the front gate. Under no circumstance is this ok. Tubby folk (like myself) have no business in these things. Look, I don’t want to see your bellybutton dent flopping around as you choke down your chilli fries. Ok? The skinny just look weird, like they were given something to wear out of their older brother’s closet. And as for the people who physically aren’t an aesthetic abomination, well I’m jealous and you’re just showing off. Put a shirt on.

Subject's Face Blurred Because He Deserved It.

Here is a blog post (forwarded to me by this editor of this magazine) that even people who loved the Dark Knight can appreciate.

The Editing Room

Let me start by saying that Heath Ledger’s Joker was spot on. He made the character seem real, I enjoyed watching him very much.

Smile and the world smiles with you. Lose half your face, and it's just awkward for the rest of us.

The single most impressive thing in the movie to me was the makeup/cgi they used for Harvey Dent’s face. It was realistic, you could actually see his teeth through his cheek while he was talking. And who wouldn’t love that?

And that’s about where it ends. I even put aside my feelings about the batmobile (as it came crashing through a cement wall in the first scene).

I wanted to like this movie, I wanted to be wrong, I wanted to post the funny photo of a crow pie for me to eat. Maggie Gyllenhaal as the love interest? Now I’m no Kim Basinger fan, but you have to admit there’s something not-quite-right about this leap. It was a distraction for the entire movie.

A Visual Aid

Some distraction could be justified, I mean who really wants to listen to Christian Bale “growl” half-rate dialogue for two hours. The only thing worse that hearing it was looking at the odd way his mouth moved while making those zoo animal noises. It looked like his lips were running away from his gums, just weird.

I could go on and on about Batman bending rifle barrels with his hands, or the Charles Barkley “I’m not a rolemodel” bit at the end, but I won’t.

In the end I knew better. I knew not to expect much, and I was right. My list stays the same and the Batman collection still sucks.

-RJ

No thanks, I'm full (and right).

I vow to give it a fair shake and am prepared for the consequences if it turns out to be just half as good as everyone keeps saying it is.

Please turn off all cell phones, the movie is about to start.

I do not like Batman movies.
Sorry, they just don’t float my boat. DC comics, and their characters have always been a hard sell for me. I just took more to the Marvel side of things.

Then I was loaned a graphic novel “Batman: The Dark Knight Returns.” Now that was good. I was sold.

Tim Burton decided that 3 years was just enough time to let Batman’s credibility go unmarketed. Batman (the movie) came out in 1989. While I was not keen on Beetlejuice playing a millionaire vigilante crimefighter I think Keaton was surprisingly good as The Caped Crusader. The Joker, in stark contrast, was an abomination. Jack RUINED the character. Overacted (and not in the way that would have been productive in playing a sociopath) to the point that I was reminded of the Batman TV show. It was like watching Jack Nicholson impersonate himself on SNL. Not the same feeling as the Graphic Novel at all. Burton saves the day by creating a Gotham city truly keeping with the feel of the gritty nature of the story. Ok, just good enough to get me to the theater for the sequals.

This is where my point is made

Ok not bad, but the cartoon weapons (read: giant rubber ducky) wrecked the whole thing

Boo

Boo-Face

Really?

And if they weren’t bad enough, here come the Dynamic Boo-O

Who can still doesn’t understand why I don’t like this crap?
Ok so there I am not liking Batman, his movies, and by association Bartman. Years pass and they dust this fella off. Start the hype machine. I get suckerd in and go see Batman Begins, after all I loved “American Psycho,” Christian Bale can’t be that bad. And it wasn’t bad, I actually enjoyed myself. . .
until. . .

Driving up a building, really?

No more. Enough is enough. Dark Knight be damned, the Batbridge has been burned.

Iron Man

Spider Man (1st one)

X-Men (1st one)

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Hulk (2nd one)

So many clever things to say and situations to comment on, what happens if I’m not near my computer and I need more than 140 characters to explain myself? There’s an app for that.

WordPress from the app store. Now I’m like every other schmuck out there who is delusional enough to think anyone cares what I think – awesome.

Seems like a blog is a necessity at this point